Sketching my path to safety
When everything external reflected all that was internal, hiding was no longer an option. I had to confront all of the things I had been avoiding, but this time with my eyes wide open. It was a jarring experience to suffer in the presence of others. I was cracked wide open, but the yolk of my spirit remained intact. The word 'safe' broke the spell cast upon my weary soul.
I began to sketch this feeling of safety, the symbolic union of blank ink on a white page working together to express a poetic narrative. There was no separation of darkness and light, both commanding to be seen no matter where my eye wanted to rest. I harnessed all of this energy and emotion into a series of sketches. Each one an invitation to explore my true nature and hidden truths.
Art has always been my safe space. I would get lost in the meandering, uncertain lines of my playful marks. Marks made without fear or reason. It was a fitting tribute to lock eyes with my inner child once more. The inner child who had created during times of violence and volatility, darkness and despair. Sketching was exactly what I needed to confront the turbulence in my life once more. But, this time, I knew it was different. I no longer wanted to escape the world around me.
Today, I stand in the shadow and the light with curiosity, gratitude, acceptance, and love for the lessons it reveals. Those whispered words, 'You are safe,' became my evolution and revolution. It was the truth I had been seeking in pages upon pages of my sketchbook. I never knew how much the feelings of safety ruled my life. It was the heart of everything. My desire for control to create stability. My people-pleasing personality to maintain peace. My quick mind racing ahead searching for any disruption that lay ahead. A connected ecosystem of mind, body, and spirit vibrating in fear and not love. The awareness of how the emotion of safety penetrated my inner and outer worlds became the path to my liberation.
Now, when the external world around me is in chaos, my inner world flows purposefully and steadily, coursing in a current of peaceful surrender. The inner safety forged in the current of my veins finds its release in every sketch and every expression.
When I create, there are no boundaries. I am the instrument, the canvas, and the expression. It is my nature and my nurture to be a creator.